Fabric flower bouquet 

A mid way report: I love fabric flowers! I finally had my styrofoam balls delivered and started getting my fabric flowers stuck down! I love it! It really makes keeping the shape so much easier and it’s so shabby chic! 

Honestly my flat is covered in sticky pearls and bits of fluff but who cares?! Sacrifices must be made for art!!!! 

Cheese wedding cake 

So, this wedding business is a whole new world for me. Who on earth thought of a cheese wedding cake?! 

I absolutely love it, hats off to the first person who was like “meh, were going to have a cake made of wheels of cheese and we don’t care what people say about it”. This is now an absolute must for our wedding, for several reasons. 

First, I like cheese more than cake, obvious reason but the most important! I’m more of a savoury person usually, and I love the idea of having piles of crackers and tiny little cheese prongs to help yourself to. 

Second, who on earth can afford like £300 for a cake?!?! I understand weddings are consumerist fodder but still, how much do the ingredients cost? £8.50? And then what, 6 hours of your time? So your total profit is £291.50, which is nearly £50 per hour. And that’s for a fairly modest cake! Ridiculous. 
Rant over. The conclusion: cheese wedding cake? Hell yeh! 

Fabric flowers

So this all started as a way of practising to hopefully become good enough to make my own bouquet (all booked! 20th October 2018!!!!!!!!) and has sort of become a very soothing little hobby. 

There is something very wholesome and satisfying about a craft hobby because you feel like your really accomplishing something each time you sit down and do it. I am an avid reader and I love it but sometimes I’ll spend days in a reading coma and when I emerge I have nothing but dirty dishes and piles of crumbs to show for it.

Anyway here is a couple of evenings work ready for my next bouquet attempt. These are different fabrics rather than paper and I’m trying out cream and gold colour scheme. 

I hate my car

Let me start by saying, I’m completely aware that having a feud with your car as if it is a sentient being is really bizarre and completely self defeating, but the thing about blogging is it sort of encourages you to examine all those little quirks about yourself that are normally just part of your daily life. The silly thing even has a name. It’s called Jean-Claude.

So this basically started as soon as I bought it, as it was replacing my beloved Peugeot that had been with me through thick and thin and I loved it (It’s name was Gwen if your interested.) Jean Claude has this weird fault whereby it judders in first gear as if it’s really pissed off to be forced to go anywhere. It doesn’t seem to affect anything else but it makes me all nervy.

After a few weeks things started falling off. Like cosmetic things, nothing big, but slowly I found myself honestly thinking the car was having a joke at my expense. I’d be turning a corner and the fan slats would collapse and make me jump, or I’d by adjusting my mirror and the little toggle would just come away in my hand completely. Id stare in bewilderment wondering when I’d developed this hulk like strength.

Loads of little things, but i started to gradually feel like Jean-Claude hated me. In retaliation (I know, how utterly ridiculous to actually “fight back” against your own car) I would drive purposely sloppily, you know, grind the gears and sort of throw it around like I’m Bruce Willis on the M62.
A month ago Jean-Claude blew a fuse and the locks stopped working. I rang round a couple of garages and was told, rather patronisingly, that they “don’t touch electrics love, have you tried re starting the engine?”. Honestly. The only solution was to take it to this garage in the middle of the dodgiest area ever and Wait about for 6 hours as they got around to fixing it.

I kid you not a week later the same thing happened again. I’m not a violent person but I felt like giving Jean-Claude a good kick (in my head at this point the car was like that really irritating girl at school who always ruins all your fun schemes and then tells on you as well). In revenge I haven’t gone back to get it fixed. I realise this is childish, ridiculous and completely insane but a part of me hopes the car gets stolen. And not just to get rid of it, but also to teach it a lesson. Hah Jean-Claude, take that you little pest!

Venue for the evening do found!

We found our venue yesterday, a beautiful golf club with a set of rooms above it called “the hayloft”. It has exposed roof beams, it has a huge bay window, it has a outside terrace and it has a log burner. Literally the dream package. And even better, because it’s just opened it’s relatively cheap, for now. (I would include pics but we didn’t take any of our own and I don’t want to breach any copyright laws, I watch to many police dramas on the tv and it’s made me really law abiding 😩😂)

I can’t wait to get in there and hang garlands of flowers, fairy lights and tiny picnic baskets full of blooms. There will be nothing “tastefully restrained” about my decoration. Oh no, I want my guests to be smacked in the face with a sucker punch of shabby chic. I literally cannot wait!

In other, related news, here is a flower I made today. I had to cut up an old scarf to make it, but sacrifices must be made and I’m sure anyone would agree, it has been destroyed for a good cause.